A pastor of one church who was previously a sailor, was very aware
that ships are addressed as "she" and "her". He often wondered what
gender computers should be addressed. To answer that question, he set
up two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised of women,
and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend whether
computers should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the
masculine gender.

The group of women reported that the computers should be referred to
in the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time
they are the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a
little longer you could have had a better model.
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
6. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
7. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've
established a connection.
8. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more
than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
9. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded
in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested
so much in the darn machine that they're compelled to remain with an
underpowered system.
10. They get hot when you turn them on.
11. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
12. It is always necessary to have a backup.
13. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
14. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
15. The lights are on but nobody's home.
16. Size does matter
17. Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the
things they make it easier to do, don't need to be done.
18. Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things
in the world that just don't add up.
19. Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
20. The better and faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a
crashed state.
21. If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
22. If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but
tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very
expensive machine, is somehow ennobled, and no one dares to criticize
it.




The men, on the other hand concluded that Computers should be referred
to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for
later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.
5. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as,
"If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to
tell you".
6. Picky, picky, picky.
7. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8. Beauty is only shell deep.
9. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
10. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
11. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
12. Smalltalk is important.
13. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
14. They make you take the garbage out.
15. Miss a period and they go wild
16. Computer Science is no more about computers, than astronomy is
about telescopes.
17. A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working
20 years will make.
18. To err is human, but to really screw things up requires a computer.
19. Any system that relies on computer reliability is unreliable.
20. The only people making money these days are the ones who sell
computer accessories.