Disorder in the Court- Pt 1-


 ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

 WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

 ___________________________________

 ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

 WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

 ________________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh....

______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?

 WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

 _____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?

 WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

 ______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

 WITNESS: Oral.

 ______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

 WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

 ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

 WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him!

 ______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

 WITNESS: Huh?

 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?

 WITNESS: No.

 ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

 WITNESS: No.

 ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

 WITNESS: No.

 ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?

 WITNESS: No.

 ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

 WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

 ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

 WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law.