Men & women

            I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so  much.

            And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
            I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

            FOR EXAMPLE:
            One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
            Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
            just want you to hold me."

            I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

            So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads
           to hear...
           "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
           enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
            She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
            love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

            Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went
            to sleep.

            The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
            time with her.
            We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big unnamed
            department store.I walked around with her while she tried on
            several different very expensive outfits.

            She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just
            buy them all.

            She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes,so I said
            lets get a pair for each outfit.We went onto the jewelry department where
            she picked  out a pair of diamond earrings.

            Let me tell you...she was so excited.She must have thought I
            was one wave short of a shipwreck.

            I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
            tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.I think
            I threw her for a loop when I said,"That's fine, honey."

            She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
            excitement.

            Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think
            this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

            I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,"No honey, I
            don't feel like it."

            Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
            baffled "WHAT?"

            I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for
            awhile. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
            enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."And just when
            she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,"Why can't you just love
            me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

            Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.